Time Off

I spent the first half of the week with the kids. I took a couple of days off to do Mommy things like pick them up from school, fill up forms for Bryan's new school, getting Bryan's new school uniform, sending Bryan to his swimming class. Then the car's battery went flat, and AA had problems restarting it. So had it towed back to the service centre to get it recharged. So had a mostly busy start to the week.

But it was nice to spend some time with the boys, especially Bryan. I was surprised to see how much he has matured. He could be helpful and usually remembered what I told him. And he didn't throw much of a tantrum at all and stopped whining. I think perhaps it had to do with him starting primary school next year. I think he knew he needed to behave a bit more like a big boy.

Gabriel is still cute and adorable. And still my little boy. And he's learning that a NO means a NO. He still throws his tantrums but it's not as bad and he stops once he realises he's not getting his way. And the two of them are getting along, although Gabriel still tends to take advantage of the fact that he's younger.

Sigh, they grow up so fast...

February

I think I'm doing pretty ok with my resolutions for the year.

I'm trying to spend more quality time with the kids instead of just watching tv with them all the time. And it's been paying off.

Bryan's been very good. He's listened to me more. I've also tried not to yell at him or get too frustrated with him all the time. Instead, I've been explaining more. Like why he should sleep early, and why he should eat his veggies. It does take more effort on my part to make explainations simple. But Bryan's been behaving much better. And I haven't had to threaten spanking at all. Patience is definately a virtue when it comes to kids but it pays off too.

Gabriel's still quite a gentle baby. Although he does have his tantrums now and then. He's learning the word NO. I've noticed he's a bit more sensitive. Raising my voice or giving him a light smack makes him very upset. And he'll want hugs and cuddles after. So I have to be a bit more careful with Gabriel. Being firm is ok. But not too angry or fierce.

Being a Mommy is not easy. And no 2 children are the same. But it's a fabulous feeling when the child loves you right back. My heart warms and bubbles over.

Gabriel and Bryan

Gabriel is quite different in character from Bryan. He can be very quiet and likes to watch people and things. But once in a while, he can get frustrated playing with a toy, especially when he is not feeling well. Then he shows his temper. He doesn't just start crying like Bryan used to do. He'll actually voice his frustration. And kick his legs or wave his hands in the air, like he's really angry. It's actually quite funny to see a 12 month old angry. But I can just foresee the tantrums he'll throw. So I'm quite firm with him when he gets angry, and I let him vent his frustration without giving in. And I stop coddling him. Hopefully he learns that showing his anger is not going to get him anywhere. But once he's feeling much better, I have my little angel back. It's hard to stay angry with him.

Playtime Together

Over the weekend, I had a playtime session with my kids. They were both in the playroom, basically doing their own things. It was not easy trying to get a photo of both of them in it at the same time. Until both found something they both liked. BALLS! And lots and lots of balls.

Angels

It hasn't been a busy week but somehow I feel a little under the weather. Energy levels not what it used to be. I hope I'm not coming down with something. Maybe partly because hubbie's been busy at work with dinners and MIL has her own appointments. So I end up having to entertain my 2 kids myself. It's not too bad though. Bryan does his own thing and Gabriel just needs stuff to play with.

Then I have to put them to bed. They sleep in the same room so it's not difficult. I just have to keep an eye on Gabriel crawling around while I read Bryan his bedtime stories or help him with his activity books. Then I pretty much fall asleep with them.

These days Bryan's been very good when I'm around. He doesn't throw so much tantrums if he doesn't get his way. I generally try to compromise so he doesn't feel like he is missing out on something. Like, sweets/snacks only after dinner. Or we'll do something together only after he takes a shower. And I have to keep to my promises too, then he'll keep to his. It's working out so far. I think he likes playing the 'kor kor' or big brother role. So he tries to be helpful and good for his younger brother.

Meanwhile, Gabriel's becoming more mobile. He wants to crawl around and play with stuff. And he wants me to play with him when I'm home. I do have to watch him like a hawk now. He grabs and bites everything. And has a tendency to crawl up to edges to look over. I think 10 months is a lovely age. He's not so fragile but still very cute. And is starting to show a little of his personality.

It's really such a blessing to have 2 little angels in the house.

Pregnancy and (Shape?) Issues

I was inspired by a post on Karen Cheng about her pregnancy weight issues. I found that my experience rather similar to hers. But unlike her, I've only been pregnant twice.

My First Pregnancy
Now this was when I was 25, young, fit (I used to run in the gym) and healthy. I was 41kg at the time. It was some time after my wedding and I determined to keep my weight down. I remember eating whatever my body allowed me to (after all the first trimester nausea). I put on 15kg by the end of the 3rd trimester.

After giving birth, my first month was quite a difficult time. I knew all about the theory of looking after an infant. But that still didn't prepare me for the sleepness nights and dazed days. So I lost a lot of weight by the end of the month.

It was only after Bryan turned 6 months, that I finally managed to find some time on the weekends to go jogging again. By the end of the first year, I was almost back to my old shape and weight.

The Second Time
I was 28 when I fell pregnant with Gabriel. My weight was about 42kg then. I managed to go to the gym once a week then. This time, I watched my weight gain quite carefully and didn't gorge myself as much. I put on slightly less, about 13kg this time. I still got the backaches and I didn't sleep so well during the 3rd trimester.

After Gabriel's birth, I felt less stressed about looking after a newborn and about breastfeeding. My weight loss was far more gradual than my first pregnancy. But the main worry I had was that this time, I had that jiggly belly thing going.

And 8 months on, it's still there! Granted I still haven't found the time to go jogging again. But I'm sure it wasn't as bad the last time around. It feels like a lump of dough. Yuck!

I wonder if I should invest in some tummy creams. Do they work? And I really do have to find time to go to the gym again.

So I figured
Having children in the early twenties is much better for Mommy's figure.

Moving and Growing Up

We've moved our 8 month old into the room he's supposed to share with his older brother Bryan. Which leaves me with a rather large, empty space next to my bed. And with that, I've begun to accept that my baby is growing up. With Bryan, I actually wanted him to grow up and learn new things because I would learn more things with him. But with Gabriel, I preferred if he didn't rush to grow up. He'll always be my baby boy.

But in no time, both my boys will be in primary school, then secondary school, then some college, then in NS... I hope I'll always remember what lovely babies they've been. And I know they wouldn't remember much of their early years but I hope all these photos and blog posts will be special to them. I hope they'll always know that mommy loves them, very much.

The Second Time Round

Mother's Day is this weekend. And this would be my 200th post.

Being a mother changed my whole life. Before my children, I'd only have to worry about myself (& hubbie but he's a big boy). I could work late, go shopping after work, catch a movie anytime and get home whenever. Then it all changes. I go straight home after work to see my kids. I bring my kids out with me when I shop. And I don't stay up past midnight anymore.

But I don't think I've given up anything at all. In fact, I feel extremely blessed. To have a baby to hold. To watch a child learn the simplest things in life. To be able to shape a person's way of life. And to influence his future. It's something every woman should go through. It's that instinct in us that comes alive.

It's not easy though, to be a mother. The first time around, I felt prepared. I've read and trained in all things birth and beyond. I knew what to expect every step of the way. But it's one thing to have the theory and it's a completely different thing to actually do it.

To put it simply, I was lost the first time round. I had no clue why my baby was crying. Was he hungry? But it's not time for his feed yet... Wet? But I just changed him... Did his tummy hurt? I don't know. Is it something serious? Intususseption? Hirshsprung's Disease? Metabolic Disorder? Suddenly, I go from being a professional to a worrying mess. Is he going to be ok?

So like all first time moms, I learnt from scratch. How to tell when a diaper needs changing. How to prevent nappy/heat rashes. How to sooth a crying baby. How to coax him to try that new cereal you just bought or to take the medicine he needs. How to keep him happy while on the phone.

Meanwhile, I tried my best to show my first, Bryan that I loved him. Everything he did was so exciting, fascinating. I was secretly very thrilled when he met each milestone. I never imagined I'd have such a rollercoaster of emotions. This was all brand new.

But the second time, it's very different. I was more relaxed, took things as they come. I rationed my time, made sure I had enough rest. I didn't panic every time my second, Gabriel cried. It was like a do-over. To correct my 'mistakes'. This time I breastfed longer, and didn't supplement as much. I think I read Gabriel better, whether he needed to be fed, or whether his diaper needed changing, or if he just wanted a cuddle.

This time my feelings were the same, yet different. It was still a deep, intense love that I felt. But it was quiet, more mature. I don't feel the need to rush into things, like weaning. I feel contented, peaceful. A very good feeling.

Playdates

Yesterday, we took Bryan to the zoo. It was a playdate with another 2 couples and their boys.

Initially, Bryan was a little shy and didn't want to talk to Oliver, another boy his age. But later he did warm up to him and spent the morning walking/talking to him.

I actually wondered what Bryan thought about playdates that I set him up on. Was is awkward for him? After all, it's the parents that enjoy each other's company. Did he really enjoy himself? I thought he did later on. Because he was sitting with Oliver and talking to him. Would he mind if we had a playdate again with Oliver?

He would love to have a playdate with some of his classmates I'm sure. Or with his favourite cousins. But I suppose if he went on enough playdates with my friend's children he'd probably develop a friendship with the other child and this wouldn't matter.

Still I'm glad Bryan is not all that shy. He's quite friendly and willing to give someone else a chance. He's great that way. I think if it were me. I'd be quite quiet and withdrawn. I used to be rather shy.

Then I wondered if Gabriel would have a similar disposition. I hope if he has his brother to look up to, he'll also be friendly and cheerful like Bryan. Maybe all he needs is more playdates too...

Falling Sick

I don't usually fall sick. I do take the occasional day off for a bad migraine or flu but it's never really bad. Right up until last week. I must have caught a particularly bad strain of the flu because I was floored for days. I couldn't get up at all during the first 2 days and I spent most of the next 2 days resting. I'm honestly still not quite over it. I don't feel that bad and I don't actually have much of the symptoms but my eyes are still very tired and sometimes I get these giddy spells. Which is very annoying because I can't concentrate as much as I'd like to.

That and Gabriel now has the flu and he's a bit cranky. So I'm spending a lot of time with him. Trying to make him more comfortable. And that takes time away from Bryan who I think is feeling a little neglected since I've been unwell. I do miss spending time with my older boy. He's actually very bright and cheerful.

Sigh... I so need to get back to normal!

My Boys

So far Bryan's taking to Gabriel very well. He always comes by to hug/kiss his little brother. Which is great. He's also more affectionate. He'd suddenly hug/kiss me too. I think he just wants to make sure I'm still there for him.

But Bryan's also getting a bit more stubborn as well. He has had a mind of his own since he was younger. So I'm not sure if he's just testing the limits or if he's acting up because of Gabriel. Meanwhile, I'm walking that fine line between setting firm boundaries and giving Bryan more independence. He still gets up to all kinds of mischief when no one is looking. Yet he can be such a well behaved and well mannered boy.

I'm hoping Gabriel will be as cheerful and pleasant as Bryan. But I'm also looking forward to seeing the differences too. I wonder what both of them will be like when they are older. If they will be followers or leaders. If they will be the studious type or the sporty type.

Deja Vu

It's POD 1. And already I remember how to hold a baby and breastfeed. Then there is the itching from all the hospital plasticky linens. And yet how fun it is to play with the bed controls and how uncomfortable hospital beds can be.

Kudos to my gynae who remained calm during my operation. My anaesthetist who got everything right the first go, my plug, my spinal. Everything was practically painless. And I learnt that synflex is waayy better than ponstan and panadol combined. And piriton and morphine will make me really really drowsy.

More Scrapbooking

I'm on leave at the moment, resting and getting ready for baby so it's a good time to finish up my scrapbook. It's a olive green 8" by 8" scrapbook. I'm down to the last few pages of that one. The 8" one is small and rather easy to fill up. But I think I still prefer the big 12" one. I can put more photos on one page and lots of bigger embellishments.

Meanwhile, it's down to the last week before my scheduled C section. Been there before, so it's nothing new. Of course it's still exciting to bring a new life into the world. I find it very fulfilling actually, to have children. But I think this is going to be it. Two is going to be a handful already. And with me and hubbie with full-time jobs, there wouldn't be enough time for more than two. With education being so expensive nowadays, I don't think we can afford to have so many children either.

I think I've made peace with not having a daughter. It's really ok that I wouldn't have someone to pass my beauty and fashion secrets on to. Or that I can't buy all those lovely pink dresses to dress her up in. :) Now I focus on making sure my sons get good daughter-in-laws...

Why Having Boys are Great

1. It's easy to buy clothes for them. T-shirts and short/bermudas will do. And the very popular Crocs will go with everything.

2. The clothes will fit for a long time. Long pants become bermudas. My 3-year-old can still wear his 18-month-old pants albeit much shorter.

3. Boys can pretty much pee anywhere in an emergency, if no toilets can be found.

4. Their hair is always cut short, no tangles to detangle.

5. It's ok if boys pull their shirts over their heads just because it's fun.

6. It's also ok if they're sweaty/muddy/dirty, they're boys.

7. They are easy to keep occupied. Just get them a PSP/Nintendo.

8. Mommy gets precious time to herself when boys prefer to play with Daddy.

9. Daddy's the one that has to explain how things work 'down there'.

10. You don't worry so much about boys when they are older and stay out late.

9 Months and Counting Down

It's almost time now. I'm already at 9 months and I have about 2 more weeks to go before my scheduled C-section. It's been quite a tiring 9 months. Thank goodness for my change from a busy government clinic to a quieter private one. Even though I did have to work a couple of evenings a week, it was manageable.

Looking back, the worst part of this pregnancy is the aches and pains. I don't remember my first pregnancy being as bad. I don't have problems when I'm up and about. It's the lying down at night that's giving my the worst backaches. I can't sleep on my back for the past few months. Even turning from right to left wakes me up at night.

Bryan's been quite good these few weeks though. He still wishes baby good morning and good night. He pats my tummy and says hi once in a while. And even in school, his teacher says that he's been quite good. He's learning how to be a bit more gentlemanly and not push or grab stuff. And he's tantrums are more controllable as well.

I think it's all about being consistent. A 'no' should always mean 'no'. Don't give in just because he's screaming away. And it's ok to compromise but always keep your promises. So that he knows that he can trust you when you say that he can have his sweets after dinner/after his nap/tomorrow. Or that he can open his new toy if he has been well-behaved the whole day.

And Bryan's toilet-training is going well too. He only uses his diaper at night and even then, he lets me know when he needs to use the potty to poo instead of doing it in the diaper. He has said a few times that he can sleep in his underwear but I think it's still a little too early for a 3 year old to go completely off diapers. Maybe in a year or two. A 3 year old's bladder is not going to hold for 10 hours.

I'm crossing my fingers that baby is going to be just as good to look after as Bryan. And I hope I can get baby to sleep through the night by the time I get back to work when he is about 4 months.

Oh yes, and happy birthday to Ian and Daddy too!

Train Ride

The past weekend was a quiet one for Bryan and me. Everyone else was away in Malaysia for the weekend. So the two of us spent the weekend together.

I took him on his first MRT ride. He has seen the MRT trains passby lots of time along the road. And he's always said he wants to sit on the train. So since we had time and we were in the vicinity of an MRT station, we took a short ride. I wouldn't have minded going on a longer round trip but it happened to be peak hour, close to dinner time so the trains were pretty crowded. We only went up and down a couple of stations. But he did enjoy himself a lot. And was really excited about the whole trip. He pointed out stuff from the window including other trains and the approaching train station. And he remembered to 'hold on tight' to the bars on the train so he wouldn't fall. Then for dinner, we went to Swensons. We had spaghetti and a whole strawberry sundae.

Then on Sunday, he was up bright and early and came knocking on my door. So I had to forgo the idea of sleeping in on Sunday this time. We went to church and then walked across to the shopping mall across the street. I would give him the usual talk about waiting for the green man before crossing the road. It's the usual Sunday ritual we have. I take him to church, where he would sit for the whole service and then we would 'go for a walk to look at the fountain'. Right across the street from St Andrew's Cathedral, is Raffles City. It has a row fountains of varying heights on the outside. Bryan would count how many fountains there are and then point out 'small', 'medium' and 'big'.

Mommy's Good Little Boy (most of the time)

So this week, while I'm on leave, I've converted the cot into a junior bed and got out all the pottys. I managed to get him to pee in a potty on command. But he still insists on wearing the diaper during the day. I guess that's telling me that he's not quite ready to be toilet trained. I hope he takes to wearing underpants instead of the diaper, just like his daddy! And he sleeps on his own in his own bed, in his own room. Although it takes him forever to get to sleep. Nowadays, he sleeps at almost 11pm at night. So I hardly have time for my own stuff.

Bryan's been behaving very well during the day though, most of the time. I bring him out shopping, to the park, for walks all on my own. He listens when I call him and he can obey simple instructions. So running errands with him is not much of a problem. He can eat on his own if he really enjoys his meal and isn't too fussy. I have to keep thinking of things to occupy him, so he doesn't get too bored. Like doing mini bowling, or making suff with the playdoh, or drawing/colouring, or building tunnels and towers with his legos/blocks, or reading new books, or taking walks, or doing mini jigsaws. Phew! It's been great mother-son bonding though. I can see why some moms are stay-home-moms.

Hi 5 Circus

Hi 5 from Australia is here from 31 August to 9 September. They were playing at the Singapore Expo. Bryan is a very big fan so we decided to bring him to watch it. Now although it says on the banner 'tickets from $38' in reality, the decent seats are actually $68 and $88 a pop. It's insane. And yet tickets are actually sold out. I called up SISTIC and asked if Bryan needed one of those incredibly expensive seats. It turns out that as long as he is happy to sit on my lap, he doesn't really need a seat of his own. That's a big relief. Now I still had to fork out $140.20. $2 of which consisted of their ticket admin fee. I don't really understand this fee. After all, I bought the ticket online. And the $0.20 takes the cake. It's the fee they charge for ME to collect the ticket PERSONALLY from the ticket counter. ??!!


Today was the day of the Hi 5 Circus show. We had gotten him the tickets to the 7pm show. Bryan was so excited. He was told that when mommy got home from work, we would bring him to watch Hi 5. So the moment I arrived, he rushed to the door and insisted that he should put on his 'nice shoes'. And he went straight to the car and wanted to be strapped in. He refused to get out even though I still had to have my dinner. He patiently sat and waited in the car in his car seat... until I was all done.

At the entrance, there was this big Hi 5 hand. We were lucky to be able to snap a picture of him on it without any interruptions from other children. There were also booths selling Hi 5 VCDs and other Hi 5 merchandise. Bryan wasn't keen on anything at the time. He didn't want the hat or Jup Jup. In the end he decided that he wanted that headband one with the flashing neon green lights.

Once the show started, Bryan sat on my lap and watch, entirely taken in with the whole performance. The seats were pretty ok. But the category A seats would have been even better. The Hi 5 team was onstage, singing and dancing in their bright coloured costumes. Bryan clapped along and waved at the right times. There were new songs and some old ones. It consisted of 2 halves of half an hour each and with a 20 minute break in between. At the end of it, after saying 'bye bye' to Hi 5, Bryan was a little disappointed to be going home. He wanted 'more Hi 5'. Then when we were walking out, there were people selling Hi 5 balloons so we got one for Bryan. I wasn't actually keen on getting it but he actually asked for it.

Now he is sleeping with the balloon in his room, tired but very happy. I really shouldn't spoil him too much. But this is a special outing for him. I didn't want to end the night with him being disappointed.

Coping

Recently a few of my friends have been asking me how I cope with so many responsibilities, seeing as how I manage to work, study, look after a 2 year old, find time to go to the gym, work on my hobbies, run errands and stay married.

Well, in short, ONE THING AT A TIME.

Actually, I find that if I did things as fast as possible, I can stretch time a bit. I spend a lot of time with my son and the rest of the time with my hubbie. And I try to squeeze everything else in between. So my lunch times are usually packed with errands and doing the accounts. I try to study at night when my boy is asleep. But I make a point to sit with my hubbie a while so he doesn't feel too left out. Then I go to the gym during the weekend when Bryan is taking his afternoon nap. And when he wakes up, we do some grocery shopping together.

I have to hand it to my trusty organiser to remind me when Bryan's school fees have to be paid and when our dogs need to be de-flea-ed. Without it I think I'd be a confused mess.

Yet, I still have so many things in my head that I want to do. I want to find more time to teach my boy his alphabet and do more art and craft stuff with him. And I want to have more time, especially in the mornings with my hubbie *wink* & *blush*. I need to find time to read too. I used to read a least one book a week. Now, I hardly have time for any.

Hmmm... one of these days I'm going to give myself a heart attack. But I do have to thank my mother-in-law for helping me look after Bryan especially while I'm at work. At least I don't have to worry about him then. But I always worry about my darling hubbie. Sometimes I think he works too hard.

Mommying is Hard

Bryan is almost 2 now. He grows up so fast, it's sometimes hard to catch up. I find mommying a very fine line between being careful and letting go. I want him to learn things and be able to do things on his own. Yet I want to make sure that he knows what he is doing, that he wouldn't make mistakes.

Like today, when he goes to pick up his daddy's mug, to drink from it. It's an almost full heavy mug. My mommy's instint is to grab it from him, even though I know full well that he is capable to holding a cup and drink from it without spilling. I catch myself and watch gingerly as he takes a sip and then sets the mug down, all without spilling a drop, at the same time, watching his favourite TV show. I breathe a big sigh of relief and feel really proud of my little boy. (And me too!) Still, I can't help myself from saying, "Put the cup down on the table properly, just in case it spills."