Retrospective

This year, there are quite a few of my colleagues/peers who are just about pregnant or just married. Which makes me a step or so ahead of them, with already one son and about to have another child. A lot of people are surprised when I tell them I'm married with children.

Actually looking back, getting married and then having a child at 25 was quite scary for me. I didn't really have anyone to talk to and ask questions as most of my friends were unmarried. And being a doctor, I've heard of all the complications and stuff that can go wrong which made it even worse. I had just started work, it was my first year as a house officer. And I was officially married for one year. I was just barely coping as a doctor and a wife.

But it was by God's grace, He gave me a gorgeous, intelligent son who is mostly well behaved and easy to handle. It made things so much easier on me and gave me so much more confidence in myself. Having a child has changed me, maybe for the better. Now I have someone I need to take care of, who depends on me for everything, and who needs me for the next 20 years of his life at least. It's a huge responsibility, having to teach him, not just about reading and writing, but also about all aspects of life, about relationships, about caring, sharing and all the right principles.

I think I've started to be bit more assertive and less selfish. I only have this much time during the day and I have to maximize it. I do much more planning and I have backup plans for when things crop up. On the other hand, I've also become more flexible and I don't get so upset if I have to cancel plans if someone is sick. I've also stopped trying to make everyone happy. In the end it's the important people in my life that really matters. I've also become more practical and less idealistic. Instead of 'things should be done this way', it's become 'let's try to work with what we have'.

Oddly, my change in attitude shows in the hobbies I do, books I read, shows I watch on tv and even the music I listen to. I used to do cross-stitching, read romances, love soppy dramas and boy band pop. Now, I do scrapbooking and blogging. I prefer watching CSI and the Discovery channel. I'm more interested in Asian based novels and only read romances by Nicholas Sparks. And the latest mp3s I bought and downloaded include artistes like Chris Daughtry, Hinder, One Republic, Maroon 5, Timbaland. I also like good vocalists like Leona Lewis, Colbie Caillat.

And nope I don't think it's the hormones...